I have admitted my guilt and shame in my lack of potted plant nurturing skills. (see my “fiddle leaf fig” here) Despite my most concerted effort I have a terribly awful black thumb. While I will continue to try and change that black thumb to more of a green shade I thought I would share with you some of the missteps I have made in an attempt to turn this terribly sad situation into a bit more of a learning/comical post. So if you can learn from my terrible mistakes this will have been a success! Or if you even just get a chuckle from my abysmal plant mama skills (I mean how do I keep human children alive?!)
These were in the house all winter and we recently attempted to repot them. (And they get lots of light from the window!) They look worse than they did before we repotted. Cue ugly cry. I’m hoping as soon as it’s warm we can put them on the patio and they might come back.
Without further ado here are my 15 ways to accidentally kill your houseplants. (As I sit here with my hands over my eyes)
- Forget to Water Them.
- Water them Too Much
- Place in bright sunlight
- Realize later they don’t belong in bright sunlight
- Use top soil to pot.
- Repot (this killed 3 plants I attempted to save see pic above)
- Forget you have real plants
- Accidentally leave tropical plants outside in the winter
- Don’t prune.
- Prune too much
- Buy discount half dead plants thinking you will save them.
- Apologize to any live plant that I buy for having to come home with me.
- Believe salesperson when then say “this plant is very easy maintenance”
- Forget you bought plants and leave them in the back of the car for a week.
- Finally accept defeat and resort to buying faux.
These are plant cuttings that came with these pretty hangers and the lady said “you just leave them in some water and hang them where they get sun” YEAH right! Hanging in the sun, check. Keep water in there check check. I have even tried varying levels of water (this being the most) and look at how pitiful it looks! No idea.
There you have my list of shame. I have, gulp, done all of the above and I am solemnly swearing right now I will do my best try to do better! I really have the best of intentions, potted plants are my nemesis and I WILL figure them out.
And my new faux fig tree! I have since adjusted the leaves a bit more to look more realistic but this was a quick shot I took right after I brought it home. I think I might go buy more people.
Do you have lots of plants? Or are you a serial plant murderer like me? I always love to hear from ya!